TD5
There are many ways to achieve success throughout life. And in general there’s usually two ways to do it….honestly, and of course, dishonestly. Even though it may be defined differently by everyone, usually, achieving a desired outcome from one’s actions would most likely be considered success.
For most folks, the achievement of success is the result of hard work, determination and dedication. And some folks work their whole lives to achieve it. I’d imagine that when you’re old and gray, to have a genuine peace of mind and a good feeling about your success, you probably did it honestly. But, not all folks see it that way. As long as they “got it”, maybe that’s all that matters. And if so, maybe….you’re a manipulative thief that lied and tricked others to achieve your “success”. However, you know what you are…and aren’t….and so does God.
The world is full of wolves in sheep’s clothing who manipulate and lie….and for good reason. Generally, it’s because they want what others have, their recognition, respect and rewards. Secretively, they probably want your happiness and for you to be miserable as they are. And manipulation is their only way to “achieve success”. But honestly, these folks don’t hide as well as they think. And at some point, the cracks begin to show and you’ll start to recognize who they really are.
I’d be willing to bet that most people know of at least one person, who I like to call, a “peacock”. A lot of the time these folks aren’t hard to identify from just one encounter. Loud and boisterous, they always demand attention…and always seem to say exactly what others want to hear. What fascinates me most is even though others around them seem to be aware, they continue on. However, these folks tend to be relentless in their pursuit of psychological dominance and power over others. Remember, their success depends on what they’re able to get out of you.
Here’s a general breakdown of the phases of manipulation that I’ve observed, read about and also experienced myself. But this more so pertains to individual manipulation, or “one on one”. First, I’ve got to make a connection with you, build some trust, and assert my knowledge and know how. I’ll tell you stories of my accomplishments and personal sacrifice. I’ll make you believe that you’re important to me and that I want what’s best for you. I may do something small for you but, I’ll make it look as I went to great lengths. I’ll point out what you do well and then show you how to do it better….”the way I’d do it”. And once “follow the leader begins, I’m ready to move on to the next phase.
In phase two, your encouragement may seem to have strings attached. This is when I’ll begin to introduce a little guilt to the formula. When I make you feel a bit guilty, you unknowingly open yourself up to a great deal of psychological control. Once I’ve opened that door and before you realize it, you’ll be doing things that are in my best interests. I’ll become thankful and give you more encouragement, I may even build you up a little to other folks. But don’t forget what I did. I showed you a better way to do things and it you were successful. So now, give me thanks, recognition and praise for making you better! Now that I’ve got your attention, my directions turn into directives.
In phase three, I hope to have established my authority and at this point, the style of manipulation will begin to change. Suggestions will become strongly encouraged and may have an ultimatum attached. That person may continue joking around with you, but, in a strange authoritative manner that may begin to cause discomfort. You may begin asking yourself questions about my intentions. And it’s probably apparent at this point, your doing a lot for me but getting nothing in return. But the encouragement will continue because ultimately, they need you to keep working. Don’t be surprised to soon hear the phrase “if you make me look good, I’ll make you look good.”
And the next phase is where I’ll stop for the sake of length. But, I’ll certainly come back to the topic of manipulation because what I’m describing here is only surface level. It can go way beyond fooling you into following and listening…
The last phase in this breakdown comes as the result of someone who’s realized that, you may see them for who they really are. And if so, they also may realize they’ve lost trust and credibility. And now that lost you’ve the desire to listen to, work with, work for or do anything that directly benefits them, what are they left to do? How do they continue to get what I want from you? They become a bully and instill fear in hopes that you will keep you going. But, once other folks realize that manipulation is your game, they’ll begin to distance themselves from you…as they should! As you can imagine, they probably won’t react kindly to that.
This is truth, folks….manipulation is one of many facets of evil. And those who practice it are evil, and they’re thieves. They steal your identity, your ideas, work and then your rewards. Recognition is what they need to thrive. And when they don’t get recognition from you, they will seek revenge.
Manipulation is a hard habit to break. Mostly because it requires humility….and that’s super hard for someone who doesn’t fully and totally seek Jesus. As I stated earlier, I certainly intend to come back to this topic at some point. Manipulation is a true means of deception and it’s used for control. It’s dangerous, but, it’s worth discussing because people need to recognize the signs. These people cause serious trouble to those whom they can manipulate. I know it goes without saying, but, it’s doubtful that Jesus manipulated others. God gave us all free will. So, would it be safe to say that manipulation isn’t christ-like behavior? More on that later…..